I've been thinking about this... a lot. I can't come up with anything. There's lots of things I dislike about myself, of course! But hate is a really strong word. For me to hate something about myself I would mean I would feel uncomfortable about it, and even embarrassed. There USED to be something I hated about myself. But I changed it. I had to. Should I talk about that, or the meaningless things I dislike about myself - I wish I didn't always wear my heart on my sleeve, I wish I was more on top of the laundry, I wish I had bigger boobs... Yeah, it seems pretty meaningless, doesn't it? So here's what I used to hate about myself-
When I was younger I was selfish. Not in a blatantly screw over other people kind of a way, but more in a thoughtless of others kind of a way. I can remember changing plans with my parents as a teenager in order to be available for whatever my friends were doing. I can remember living my college days with only myself and my own motivations as my main focus. I discarded some friendships too easily over pride and petty incidents. It was never so potent, however, and so in my face as when I got married in my young 20s. You combine selfishness, stubbornness, and youth and you get a toxic combination. At that point in my life, I ignored the perspectives of my husband if they were different from mine. I was a little too rigid and well.....stupid, to understand about compromise and give and take and how that fit into a lifetime commitment with someone. There were too many times that we would have a fight that lasted entirely too long over something so stupid I couldn't remember the topic to save my life. All in the name of what? Being selfish. Needing to be right. Wanting my way or the highway.
It took a drastic change in my life at that time to realize how selfish I had been acting. That drastic change was a divorce. Though that wasn't the reason for our split, it was one of the negative character traits I brought to the table. Most certainly a contributing factor to the failure of the marriage. Going through that sort of breakup forced me to take a humbling look at myself and realize what I had to change. For any of my future relationships, but more importantly for myself. And boy, I'll tell you what... It never felt so good as to drop that sack of shit behind and move forward in life in a more positive state of mind.
When I was younger I was selfish. Not in a blatantly screw over other people kind of a way, but more in a thoughtless of others kind of a way. I can remember changing plans with my parents as a teenager in order to be available for whatever my friends were doing. I can remember living my college days with only myself and my own motivations as my main focus. I discarded some friendships too easily over pride and petty incidents. It was never so potent, however, and so in my face as when I got married in my young 20s. You combine selfishness, stubbornness, and youth and you get a toxic combination. At that point in my life, I ignored the perspectives of my husband if they were different from mine. I was a little too rigid and well.....stupid, to understand about compromise and give and take and how that fit into a lifetime commitment with someone. There were too many times that we would have a fight that lasted entirely too long over something so stupid I couldn't remember the topic to save my life. All in the name of what? Being selfish. Needing to be right. Wanting my way or the highway.
It took a drastic change in my life at that time to realize how selfish I had been acting. That drastic change was a divorce. Though that wasn't the reason for our split, it was one of the negative character traits I brought to the table. Most certainly a contributing factor to the failure of the marriage. Going through that sort of breakup forced me to take a humbling look at myself and realize what I had to change. For any of my future relationships, but more importantly for myself. And boy, I'll tell you what... It never felt so good as to drop that sack of shit behind and move forward in life in a more positive state of mind.
30 Days of Truths
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
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